As much as I — a professional wedding planner — love a good wedding reception, the ceremony is the beating heart of any wedding. Here’s a template for a wedding ceremony script to help you and your partner(s) build a ceremony that has meaning and momentum.
Want to download this for free? Here’s the Google Doc. You might also get value from my book.
The different parts of a wedding ceremony (Western cultural traditions)
The processional (who proceeds* down the aisle)
The opening and welcome from the officiant(s)
Any readings, songs, prayers, etc.
Expression of intent (the “I dos”)
Vows (what you say to each other)
Ring exchange (when you give each other rings)
Pronouncement (when the officiant(s) tell(s) everyone you’re married now)
The kiss
The recessional (you go back down the aisle)
*I opted to say “proceeds down the aisle” vs. “walks down the aisle” in an attempt to make my language less ableist.
Want to brainstorm your ceremony with a professional? Here’s what people have to say about renting my Virgo wedding planner brain for an hour.
The processional
I have seen more than one rehearsal get derailed because the client didn’t get a chance to talk about whom they wanted to proceed down the aisle when (i.e. the processional). There is no one way the processional has to be ordered.
Below are a few examples. Use them to build the ceremony that serves you and your partner(s). Please note that I defaulted to two partners in these examples but, of course, adapt as serves you best:
Example 1
Partner 1 enters ceremony alone or alongside one or two VIP(s)
VIPs enter in pairs, starting with the pair to be farthest from the couple OR the pair to be closest to the couple
Flower people and/or ring bearer(s) enter
Partner 2 enter alone or alongside one or two VIP(s)
Example 2
Officiant(s) enter(s) ceremony
Partner 1 enters alone or alongside one or two VIP(s)
VIPs enter in pairs, starting with the pair to be farthest from the couple OR the pair to be closest to the couple
Flower people and/or ring bearer(s) enter
Partner 2 enters alone or alongside one or two VIP(s)
Example 3
Officiant(s) arrive(s) at front right before ceremony begins
VIPs enter alone
Partners 1 and 2 enter together
Example 4
Officiant and Partner 1 enter right before ceremony begins
Partner 1’s party enters from side
Partner 2’s party enters alone
Partner 2 enters alone or alongside one or two VIP(s)
How many songs do we need? Often two but sometimes one. It depends on if one partner wants one song for their entrance and the entrance of anyone following them and the another partner wants a different song for their entrance.
The opening and welcome from the officiant(s)
Don’t be shy about telling your officiant(s) what you want. This isn’t being “bossy.” It’s honestly a relief. They want to give you the ceremony you — not they — want. Knowing what that looks like is SO helpful.
Questions to keep in mind as you decide what to tell your officiant(s):
Is God invited to the wedding?
How do you want to be introduced, if you want to be introduced at all? A few common options:
Wife and wife
Husband and wife
Husband and husband
Partners
Ms. and Ms.
Mrs. and Mx.
Mr. and Mrs.
Mx. and Mx.
Mr. and Mr.
Mr. and Mx.
Mrs. and Mrs.
Mr. and Ms.
Your first names only
Often, this opening is five or so minutes. They run through what this event is, who’s getting married, and any bureaucratic announcements (i.e. “Please turn off your cell phones”). This last bit, if you even want to do it, can also be done before you proceed down the aisle, if you prefer to skip the bureaucracy once you’re at the altar.
Readings, songs, prayers, etc.
I’d say about half the weddings I do have some kind of reading. Usually this is done by a VIP whom the client didn’t invite into a wedding party but wants to acknowledge in a public way.
This section is pretty much “choose your own adventure.” You can skip it, embellish it, do whatever you want with it. It’s meant as a way to call out specific elements of your relationship that you want highlighted as you and your partner get married.
Expression of intent
This is the part more commonly known as the “I dos.” It’s when you and your partner(s) individually say why you’re here to do and what you plan to do.
Usually, an officiant will ask each person a question (“Will you, [Partner 1], cherish [Partner #] as your lawful wedded [insert the title of your choosing], protecting [Partner 2’s pronoun], and tending to [Partner 2’s pronoun] through sickness and health?”
Partner 1 would then reply “I do” or “I will.”
This takes about 5 to 10 minutes, depending on how many “I dos” you and your partner(s) want to cover. (Search online for a variety of options on what I dos you can do.)
Vows
This is where you share what you verbally commit to each other. Most vows I’ve seen are about a page long (12-point font, double spaced, take about 1 to 2 minutes to read) but vows can be as long or as short, as serious or as funny as you like. Usually, each partner writes their own (me to you and you to me).
I once took a vow writing workshop from professional officiant Emily Sterling of Rooted & Wild. Here’s what she recommended for a great progression for vows:
What I love about you/what you’ve contributed to my life
What I promise/commit to you in our relationship
Future goals/dreams/adventures
Think of vows as a story. You want a beginning, middle, and end. You also want to be conscious of your crowd. Inside jokes are great but will your grandma really get why you’re saying “swipe right” every other sentence? Do we care if she does?
Ring exchange
If you’ve decided to wear wedding rings, this is where you exchange them. If you have a wedding party, often the person who’s physically closest to each partner “holds” the rings.
As with all things weddings, though, it doesn’t have to be this way. An officiant can hold them or even the couple, if they have clothes with pockets.
My main advice here is, if you decide to have a ring bearer, make sure that they don’t hold the rings all ceremony. Ring bearers are often cute little children with short attention spans (or, sometimes, equally cute, equally easy-to-distract dogs). As soon as those rings get up the aisle, have a responsible adult take them so that they don’t get lost in the shuffle.
What about my engagement ring? Many people move it to their right hand for the day and then move it back later (“tradition” has you put your wedding band closer to your heart followed by your engagement ring on top).
Pronouncement
Short and sweet: This is when an officiant hypes the crowd.
You might know it as “It is now my honor to introduce…” Sometimes an officiant will also invoke the power that ordained them (“By the power vested in me by…”)
The pronouncement is immediately followed by a cue for the kiss (i.e. the stodgy and dated “You may now kiss the bride” or the more modern “You may now kiss”). Often, this is when a couple who’s observing certain traditions like smashing the glass or jumping the broom will do so.
The kiss
I’m gonna let you figure this one out on your own.
The recessional
This is when you head back down the aisle and bask in that celebratory “We actually did it!” post-ceremony euphoria.
The wedding party always asks me when they should also return down the aisle. The answer: Wait until the couple’s made it all the way back to the end. Then you can go, followed by the officiant(s) and the front row of guests. Honestly, though, nobody cares. They only have eyes for the newlyweds.
Don’t forget! You still need to sign your license to make it official.
I always recommend couples sign their license immediately after their ceremony, ideally in a private room/hallway/corner away from grabby wedding guests. You’ll need each other, an officiant, and however many witnesses required by the area where you got married.
Once you’ve signed the license, be sure to pop it in the mail by the “due back to the county” deadline that’s stated on all of those extraneous worksheets stuffed in the manila envelope you got when you first picked up the license.
If you are getting married in Oregon, this resource may be of interest.
Additional resources
There are a lot of great ceremony templates out there. This is the one that I point people to most. A Practical Wedding does a nice job of serving up a few different options that you can use to build your own ceremony script.
If you want to talk to a professional, I recommend folks like Emily mentioned above and on this list.
You can also google “wedding ceremony consultants” or “wedding officiants near me.” Most officiants will gladly talk to you for free.