What should you ask a wedding vendor before you hire or sign a contract? Here are the more unexpected questions I ask as a wedding planner.
Want to download this for free? Here’s the Google Doc. You might also get value from my book.
All vendors
Would you be willing to share your vaccination context with me? In addition, please share how you and your team are thinking you’ll prioritize health and safety at the wedding.
If this feels scary, I get it. It also is a particularly nuanced conversation when it comes to hiring businesses. This article may help.
If we book, when can we expect to next hear from you?
This can be useful as it’s very common to hire some vendor types (e.g. a photographer, a DJ, etc.) today and then not hear from them until much closer (i.e. two to three months) before the wedding.
Do you carry business insurance?
There’s a good chance the answer is “no” and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Many individual vendors (like a DJ, coordinator, florist, etc.) don’t carry business insurance. However, I include this question because I’ve seen a small uptick in the number of venues requiring that certain or all vendors hired carry insurance. That’s irksome for the client but obviously best to know before you sign contracts.
Do you have any dietary preferences and/or food allergies?
Any vendors working your reception likely require that you feed them (with the exception of the venue and caterers). As such, this is a question that you’re likely asking your guests and vendors really appreciate it when you consider them, too. You’ll share the response with whomever is providing the food when you send over the headcount and similar food preference information closer to the wedding (usually 5 to 14 days before the event).
Caterer(s) (food and drink)
Do you provide any rentals? If you do, does coordinating these rentals result in an additional fee?
If a caterer provides rentals, that typically means plates, glasses, flatware, and/or linens with a venue providing any tables and/or chairs but always ask. Sometimes caterers charge for coordinating rentals (a.k.a. a “rental coordination fee”). That fee can be rather steep — the highest I’ve seen was a whopping 33 percent — so that’s why I added that second part to the question.
Is a tasting included or does it cost extra?
I’m seeing more and more caterers charge for a tasting (vs. including it in the proposal or contract price). This is likely to cover labor and food costs, which makes sense and can also be inconvenient for you. Many caterers are also starting to “only” offer tastings a few times a year (vs. individual appointments) so this question can help unearth those details.
Will you package up leftover food? If so, do you provide the packaging materials?
If your caterer(s) doesn’t package up food, you can either provide your own to-go boxes or ask what other options they offer for leftovers. Some donate the food to a local charity, compost it at no additional cost, etc.
Where does the trash go after the event is done?
Weird question, I know, but some venues require that you and/or your caterer(s) remove all trash, recycling, and/or compost you create (vs. disposing of those items at the venue).
Will you do the dishes?
Most caterers do but if, say, you’re hiring a caterer who doesn’t often do big events and/or isn’t handling the rentals, you need to clarify this. You don’t want to get caught in a field with 400 dishes and nothing but a garden hose (true story).
What’s the bar situation?
Often, people hire caterers to also run any bar (both alcoholic and non-alcoholic). It’s worth discussing this with a caterer to figure out what they provide in terms of staff, glasses, taps, and ice. (Yes, you may need to provide your own ice.)
Also use this question to explore if there is any penalty if you provide your own alcohol such as a corkage fee.
Florist
Will you be on-site to distribute any personal flowers (e.g. boutonnière, bouquets, corsages, flower crowns, etc.)?
If the answer is “no,” designate someone to do this task. People typically want all flowers in place before any formal photos begin.
What does it cost to have you return at the end of the wedding to collect any materials (e.g. vases, candleholders, etc.)?
I’d say about 75 percent of the weddings I do opt to not hire the florist to return at the end of the wedding to clean up. That’s A-OK as long as you know you’re responsible to return any rentals you might have from the florist within a certain timeframe (usually three to seven days after the wedding). If you don’t have any rentals from the florist, great! You’re in the clear.
If I’m disposing of the flowers on my own, any recommendations on how I do this?
This one is an attempt to center sustainability because the ugly truth is that flowers — and all the gear they come with — usually end up in the trash at the end of a wedding. That can be a huge advantage to hiring the florist to return at the end of the wedding; they know how to reuse their own materials and likely have a way to compost the flowers.
Do you use floral foam?
I really hope the answer here is “no” because floral foam is pretty much green Styrofoam. It’s extremely good at retaining water and keeping flowers fresh; it’s also absolutely terrible for the environment. Thankfully, there are alternatives florists can use to water flowers. Ask them about it!
Hair and/or Makeup
How much time will you need per treatment?
A good rule of thumb is 45 minutes for each treatment and yes, that means 45 minutes for hair and 45 minutes for makeup.
Do you recommend an assistant?
I’ve done many a wedding that pulled off hair and makeup for three to four people with one stylist without waking up at the crack of dawn. More people than that though? You’re likely looking at an extremely early call time or paying for a second (or even third) stylist. This can often be worth it, particularly if you want more time to get ready.
Jeweler
If I want my ring(s) cleaned, how soon ahead of the ceremony do you need them?
Music (ceremony and/or reception)
Do you have any specific set-up needs?
This typically means access to outlets and a large enough space to set up the music, band, or DJ booth near to any kind of dance floor.
Will you need any tech provided by the venue(s)?
Think a microphone on a stand, a freestanding mic, and/or lapel mic(s). Often, a DJ will provide their own equipment but sometimes venues have some, too.
Do you provide your own table?
Many DJs don’t, which means you need to provide a table and a linen (usually, a black tablecloth).
If you’re having a DJ, you can also go through this script.
Officiant(s)
Are you legally qualified to sign my marriage license?
This may seem like a silly question but better safe than sorry.
Do you need anything printed out before the wedding day?
This often means any readings for the ceremony.
Photographer(s) and/or Videographer(s)
How many hours are we hiring you for?
If you want photo and/or video on-site to document any kind of special exit from the reception, be sure to coordinate this ahead of time so you don’t go over the time you’ve budgeted.
This also applies for the first part of the day. If photos and/or video of you all getting ready have value to you, know that the photo and/or video team will start at that time and thus have their shift end earlier than if they start later in the day.
Does your pricing include an assistant?
Having an assistant isn’t a requirement for a photographer or a videographer but many do bring one on. Check that the cost is already included with the note that there’s a good chance all members of the photo and/or video team will need a hot meal during the reception.
When can we expect to receive our photos?
This is usually six to eight weeks after the wedding because editing is tough work. I note it here because, sometimes, folks want those photos even earlier for holiday cards, gifts, etc.
How do you pose clients who are LGBTQIA+?
The answer here is “not the same as straight clients” because those poses are usually heteronormative (e.g. a guy holding a girl). If you’re in a straight-appearing relationship, those poses may also not serve you; I encourage you to share this with a photographer and videographer.
Venue (ceremony and/or reception)
What do you provide? Will anyone from your team be on-site during the event?
Venues offer varying amounts of equipment and personnel. There’s no “right” amount but it is helpful to know what exactly you’re working with.
How long are we renting the space?
Typically, a venue rental window is between six and 12 hours and must include everything related to programming on the wedding day. That means that by the time the venue rental ends, all items must be out (this is why I recommend that the reception end no later than an hour before the venue rental ends so you have enough time to clean up).
There are exceptions to this rule such as if you’re renting a place for multiple days. Typically, the clean-up rules are more lax in those situations because, well, you’re staying there.
How accessible is the venue?
This is more a question for yourself as you tour a space. Things to consider: How easily can people with limited mobility get around? Is there an elevator? A wheelchair ramp? How steep are any stairs?
Are there any getting-ready areas and if so, how gendered are they?
Venues often have one or two areas that are designated for people to get ready on the wedding day. Unfortunately, these spaces are often mired in heteronormative stereotypes and gendered imagery and language. I include this question so you can consider if this is a space that you and your VIPs will feel comfortable and safe in or if you want to use another space and what that may cost.
Where can we hide our stuff?
Often these are the getting-ready areas mentioned above but not all venues have spaces for VIPs to store their belongings. That’s not a deal-breaker but is something to consider, particularly if you have any VIPs or, potentially, other guests who will need a private space for time away from other guests, breastfeeding, etc.
Where are the bathrooms? Are they inclusive of everyone we’re inviting and hiring?
Yes, it is OK for you to ask that the restroom signs be changed to welcome all genders.
Is there a certain time that we must lower music? Have music off?
Many venues — and particularly those in residential areas — must abide by local noise ordinances. This question can also unearth if the venue has certain decibel requirements (i.e. the music can never go above a certain volume).
Do you allow outside catering?
In my experience, if a venue offers a “preferred” list of caterers, there’s a good reason (read: their space is weird enough logistically that everything works a lot better if the caterer knows what they’re getting into).
Where does the trash go after the event is done?
Check out my riff about this under the questions for a caterer.
What’s the parking situation?
Your guests want to know exactly two things about your wedding day: when are they eating and where are they parking. Help them help themselves by posting this information on a wedding website (if you have one), putting it on invites (if you send any), and/or spreading the word through family and friends.
Does your venue require anything in particular (i.e. event insurance, a coordinator, etc.)?
Will I be able to have a rehearsal? If so, when can I have this the week of my wedding and will there be an additional fee?
It’s not necessarily a deal-breaker if the venue won’t allow you to have a rehearsal or the times they have available don’t jive with your needs. I still highly recommend you host a rehearsal, just in a different spot. This guide will help.
Wedding Coordinators and Planners
I had so much to say on what to ask wedding coordinators and planners that I wrote a whole separate article about it. You’ll find that here.
Yourself
When and where am I and my partner signing our marriage license? Who are our witnesses and do they know that they’re our witnesses?
Pack a pen, and note when the license is due back to the county (often within a few days of the ceremony so pop the license in the mail before any kind of post-wedding travel). Here are details for folks getting married in Oregon.
When am I eating and drinking on the wedding day? Who is providing that food?
Make sure and cover breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, and dessert. You can also designate a family member who’s not involved in decorating or in photos to be on snack duty.
When are my vendors eating during the reception?
Photographer(s) and Videographer(s) — Typically right after the wedding party is served so they can finish eating before they need to take photos of any toasts.
Reception Music — After all tables have received food but before any toasts begin.
Coordinator or Planner — After all tables have received food but before any toasts begin (or, for me, during toasts).
If you’re having a dinner where the tables will be set (vs. people picking up plates on a buffet line), you’ll want to notify your caterer(s) to set aside plates and utensils for each of your vendors.