As a wedding coordinator and consultant in Portland, Oregon, I serve a fair number of out-of-state clients. Last year, for example, nearly a third of my clientele didn’t live in Oregon but were planning a wedding in Oregon.
The reasons why people plan a wedding out-of-state are myriad — wedding VIPs in Oregon, cheaper costs, scenic destinations — and, often, these clients come to me considered that they’re signing themselves up for extra stress.
Honestly, they’re not.
Sure, there are some things that are harder out-of-state but with a little planning ahead, much of that can be mitigated.
In fact, there’s only one wedding planning meeting that I consider important to attend in some capacity. (Ideally at least one of the people planning the wedding attends in-person but this can also be virtual; I’ve gone on my clients’ behalf and called them in, for example.)
What is the most important meeting to attend in-person when planning a wedding out-of-state?
It’s called a final tour or, to use the more ableist but still popular term, final walkthrough.
This is a meeting at the venue(s) around 60 days before the wedding. It includes the venue rep, a coordinator (if applicable), a catering rep (if applicable), and at least one of the people planning the wedding. This meeting takes about 60 to 90 minutes and covers day-of timings, floor plans, rental orders, and similar “OK it’s getting close now!” details.
Can you schedule the final tour for earlier than 60 days? Yes, though I don’t recommend doing it more than 90 days before the wedding — it’s just too early to know much for sure. I do not recommend scheduling the final tour less than 60 days before the wedding but if you must, aim for at least 30 days before the wedding so you have time to regroup with vendors, update rental orders, etc.
Can someone not one of the people planning the wedding attend like a family member or friend? Yes, though I recommend you share this article with them about what to ask at a final tour and/or consider attending in some capacity such as a video or phone call.
Want to game plan your out-of-state wedding? Rent my wedding planner brain for an hour.
Some of my out-of-state clients also use the timing of the final tour to do these other optional activities to save on additional trips to and from home:
Get their marriage license (usually it's too early and instead folks do this the week of the wedding; here are details on how to get your marriage license in Oregon)
Have a tasting with any food providers (not required and sometimes costs an additional fee)
Visit a rental warehouse to see inventory in-person (very rare but sometimes clients like to see stuff IRL)
Meet and/or interview any additional vendors in-person (also very rare)
Do any fittings for clothes (as applicable)
Do any engagement or other photo shoots (as applicable)
Haven’t picked a venue and planning out-of-state? This list of questions may be useful, particularly if you’re touring the venue virtually.
Want even more free wedding planning resources? Give this gallery a gander.