Do you really need a wedding rehearsal? In nearly all cases, I say yes. It’s OK if it isn’t in the same space as the wedding ceremony or only 50 percent of the people you need are there. The point is to get the wiggles out. Below is a cheat sheet to help.
Want to download this for free? Here’s the Google Doc. You might also get value from my book.
What to do before a wedding rehearsal:
Regroup with your partner(s) and talk through the following logistics:
Whom should we invite to our rehearsal?
Typically, invite anyone involved in your ceremony (I’ll refer to these folks as “VIPs” for the rest of this article). That said, not everyone involved in the ceremony needs to be at the rehearsal. At the bare minimum, it needs to be you, your partner(s), and your officiant.
In what order do we want our VIPs to enter the ceremony? Is anybody entering together?
This can take a lot of different forms. I offer some ideas here.
To which song(s), if any, do we want them to enter the ceremony?
It’s helpful to tell the people who are proceeding down the aisle what to listen for so they know when to go. You don’t actually have to play the music during the rehearsal.
What to do during a wedding rehearsal:
Here’s how I typically run a rehearsal:
Introduce myself (my name, my pronouns, who I am in relation to the wedding)
Run through the basic timings of the wedding day
I bring printed out copies of the timeline for every person in attendance. I previously sent an email version of that timeline to every VIP at least one week before the wedding.
Line everybody up
If the wedding is between a bride and a groom, “tradition” puts the bride on the left (when you’re facing the altar) and the groom on the right. This is supposedly so he can better pull out his sword if he needs to fend off any “competing suitors.” Take that as you will.
Begin sending people down the aisle
If there are more than 10 people proceeding down the aisle, I cue the next person or pair to proceed in when the previous person or pair is halfway down the aisle. If there are fewer than 10 people proceeding down the aisle, the pace can be slower (i.e. wait until the previous person or pair is at the front of the aisle).
Once everyone’s in place, step back and see how things look
Does everyone have enough room? Is there some breathing space between the front row of the audience and the people standing at the front of the ceremony? Are the lines on either side symmetrical?
Consider: Do you want any VIPs for the people getting married to sit on opposite sides?
Some folks like to do this so those VIPs can see their person’s face during the ceremony (vs. being on “their” side).
Make any necessary tweaks and ask if anyone has questions or concerns
A common question from any ceremony readers or adult guardians of any flower people or ring bearers is “Where do I sit?” My recommendation: Near the front. To make sure they get a spot on the wedding day, I often tape a “reserved” sign with the person’s name on it to their chair.
As needed and time permitting, run through it one more time
What to do after a wedding rehearsal:
If someone couldn’t make the rehearsal, feel free to reach out to them to explain when they’re entering the ceremony and, as applicable, with whom. Often, I skip this step and just tell the person on the actual wedding day.
Remind anyone who’s a ceremony reader that they need to print out their readings, if they haven't done so already.
Know where your license is and how it’s getting to the ceremony.
Relax! You’ve just done something really big and, often, exhausting. Nice work!